Damsel in Distress
by Kaede-tama
Summary: In which Arthur and Lars team up for a kidnapping, and Matthew so happens to be the damsel in distress that Alfred gets to save. USCan, based on the Halloween event


Laura = fan-based name for Belgium

Lars = fan-based name for Netherlands

The rest should be easy to figure out.

* * *

><p><strong>Damsel in Distress<strong>

(And how no, Matthew is _not_ one, thank you very much)

**. . .**

"Oh, you came!" Alfred F. Jones turned halfway and grinned at his reluctant soon-to-be accomplice. "I was starting to think that you never found my note."

Arthur scowled. "Well, of course I'd eventually notice when it was _taped behind my ear._" He fished out the crumpled note from his pocket and threw it at the other male. "If you're going to give out invitations, do it in person. Don't tape it to people's body parts. Bloody hell, how does Matthew bear to put up with you?"

Alfred blushed at the mention of his northern neighbor's name. "Mattie and I are great friends," he said haughtily. "Longest undefended border, yeah?"

"Stop making that sound like some sexual innuendo, you git-"

"Anyway!" Alfred cut in brightly. "I need your help with a little skit I planned for the Halloween party!"

Arthur eyed him warily. "I'm taking no part in it if it involves explosives."

"Of course not," Alfred said. He smiled. "I save up that kind stuff for the Fourth of July!" He fumbled around in his suit for his phone, finally finding it in his back pocket and fishing it out. "But as I was saying, I want you to be the Robin to my Batman."

Arthur blinked. "Um...excuse me?" he inquired.

"Well, at least for the first part of the skit," Alfred continued. "We'll be, like, partners in crime and all you have to do is walk around with me. But after Mattie announces the winner of the costume contest, things are going to get crazy, and you're going to turn evil..."

And then Alfred proceeded to reveal his plan on how to confess his undying love for a certain Canadian.

**. . .**

Truth be told, Alfred would have preferred to use his Superman costume. But Tony had stolen his cape - the same one they used in the Superman movie - for some pseudo experiment and by the end of the day, all that was left was a single shred of it.

So Alfred had chosen Batman instead.

Batman would be fine too, he supposed. Didn't everyone have some sort of kink for the dark and mysterious type? Plus, the costume was pretty epic; once Alfred put it on, he never wanted to take it off.

"You ready for this, Iggy?" the American asks, blue eyes bright with excitement behind his black mask. "You ready? You ready?"

"You didn't say anything about wearing this ridiculous costume!" Arthur shouted in return. He was about to dive forward and attempt to gauge out his former-colony's eyes, but then the curtains were pulled to the side and they were revealed to the audience in a cloud of smoke.

Alfred could feel every pair of eyes on him at that very moment. His heart thumped wildly and he plastered a stupidly happy grin to his face.

Arthur was off to his side, cursing him out, but- Oh! There he was!

Indigo eyes locked with his own and he felt his breath hitch.

Matthew looked cute - no, _adorable_ - in his plaid outfit. The little hat was a nice touch, too. Alfred's grin stretched even wider and he waved dreamily at his object of affections. He never found out whether Matthew waved back or not; Arthur grabbed his arm and yanked him off the clearing stage. He was met with cheers and hearty pats on the back for his costume, but he wanted _Matthew_ to be there, not the crowd of people.

Once the hype was starting to die down, there was the sound of a microphone crackling to life. Then, Matthew's soft voice sounded through the speakers: "O-Okay! If I may have everyone's attention, it's time to announce the winner of the costume contest!"

There were cheers along with several shouts of "Canada!" Alfred could imagine the thrilled look on the Canadian's face at being recognized.

Mei Mei won - and even though Alfred wanted to win as well, he did think that her robot costume was pretty epic. He walked past several people already discussing their plans for next Halloween, hoping to break free from the crowd.

_Any minute now...c'mon, Lars..._

A shriek rang out from the stage. "_It's the big bad wolf!_" Laura, dressed in a bright red apron dress and stockings, pointed dramatically to her brother, Lars.

(Alfred reminded himself to thank her later for sounding so convincingly terrified.)

Lars - the "big bad wolf" - growled and leaped for Matthew. He easily hoisted the Canadian over a broad shoulder and called out to the crowd, "I never liked Little Red Riding Hood anyway!"

People burst out into laughter, but Matthew didn't seem to find it funny. His face was tinted pink in embarrassment as he struggled to get down. Over the noise, Alfred could hear him demanding, "Lars! Put. Me. Down!" as he pounded the Dutchman's back with the microphone.

And then, just as planned, Arthur stepped forward from the mesh of party-goers, smirking. "Well done, Wolf," he said, and Alfred almost did a double take at how _scary_ he sounded. "Mmm, what have we got here?" And he was even looking at Matthew's butt like he actually... Oh, god.

"Arthur!" Matthew wailed. "What is _going on?_"

_Aw, why won't he scream _my_ name like that?_ Alfred thought with a pout. Then a mischievous smile curved his lips. _By tonight, he will be._ And when the spotlight was turned on him, he announced, "Not if I can do anything about it!"

Okay, so that wasn't really something that Batman would say, but Alfred was too caught up in the moment to care. He charged to the stage and leaped past three stairs impressively. "Get away from him, you fiend!" He punched Arthur across the jaw a little too hard - _That's what you get for staring at his butt, Eyebrows._

Arthur crumpled to the floor. Alfred stepped past him - he'd apologize later - and stood, facing Lars with an air of confidence. "Release the damsel, or I shall-"

Before he could finish, Matthew managed to land a solid kick to Lars's crotch. The Big Bad Wolf relinquished his hold to double over, holding his nether regions tenderly. "Okay," he rasped. "Okay. You can go now."

Matthew was breathing hard, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I... You..." He whirled upon Alfred. "Alfred! What the hell was that?" The other boy only smirked and sauntered up to him. He stopped about a few inches away; Matthew stared at him, wide-eyed. "What are you-"

Alfred cut him off by grabbing him around the waist, dipping the slender blond backwards, and pressing a sweet kiss to those soft lips.

There were several cheers and wolf whistles from the audience. Somewhere behind them, Lars was muttering gloomily to himself and Arthur was swearing like a sailor. But to Alfred, it felt like the only one there was Matthew.

"D-Does this mean you actually like me back?" the indigo-eyed boy squeak.

Alfred's heart soared. "I just kissed you and I'm five seconds away from initiating a makeout session," he deadpanned. "What do you think?"

Matthew reached up and, with a soft smile, pulled his black mask off. "I think it's absolutely perfect."

The next kiss wasn't quite the makeout session that was promised, though Alfred did feel a little hot under the collar when they pulled away. "Your place or mine?" he asked breathily.

They failed to realize earlier that the microphone was still gripped in Matthew's hand and their audience was hearing everything. Someone, Francis shouted, "I'm proud of you, _mon petit!_"

And then Matthew did something that probably made Francis even more proud. Eyes half lidded, mouth pulling at a seductive smirk, he purred, "How about backstage?"

(A few minutes later, when they were alone, Alfred set a new record time for himself of taking six seconds to strip out of his costume.)

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** More silly things from me.

This is pretty much based on the Hetalia Halloween Event 2011. All of the strips(translated to English) can be found here:

hetalia (dot) livejournal (dot) com/11695201 (dot) html

At first, I cried because I thought that USUK was being made canon and I wouldn't be able to ship my USCan anymore. But then the last part came out, and thank goodness there was no confirmation of USUK being canon. I wrote this to celebrate.

Sorry for any USUK fans out there, by the way; I don't mean to be offensive. I'm just glad I can still ship my USCan/UKCan and FrUK. :3


End file.
